The Third Wheel and the Third Eye

...When we left the restaurant last night I had a mini-panic attack, too. Nothing that would affect me physically, but more so a state of wonder. It is now when I realize it's the superego talking.

Wanting to smack what was in front of me that day, the trap was set up and ready to retain ideas that should've fluttered away. But we jumped into the distraction or inquiry, almost in open arms.

The trap moved me towards a direction against the wind. I chose not to to stay silent.

I receive chills listening to your past. I simultaneously capture his words in action. I grab the vivid imagery presented on my side and stay tense.

Lost in my jumble of jungle of words, I use the ink in my machete and carelessly slice through the clouds to observe my surroundings.

Trying to stay leveled and staring from a bird's eye view, where it's away from what could be a wildfire. I continue to chop, yet refuse to stop and see what's in front of me. I can only look from afar and back in the nest I built, where no one can reach me.

As the bird soars down to a ground level, I contemplate: when will I be ready to balance myself and ride on two wheels?

(Originally written: October 9, 2016; 10:48 PM)

Some People Say

Original Date Written: July 18, 2011

A lot of people say I tend to overthink... that I think too much. They also say that this leads to my fear and nervousness. This is a message to them.

Everyone has ideas. Everyone has opinions. Some are formed and won't change… some are formed and will change… and some aren't formed at all. With that said, these opinions are formed through words, as it is the common way people think about when they "communicate". Words that have the same meaning have different meanings. To some people, "bad" means "good". To some people, "fine" means "not fine". To some people, "stupid" means "wonderful". Having the full understanding of the English language is probably the hardest thing to tackle; well, that… and trying to grasp the concept of "true love"… but that's another story.

A lot of people say, "Sticks and stones may break my bones… but words will never hurt me." It's quite ironic that the saying is only said when someone's true emotions are expressed in an aggressive, sad, or pessimistic manner. It's important to acknowledge that words have more meaning than people think. Why else would people say, "Things are better to be left unsaid."? Because words hurt. Why is it encouraged to say encouraging words to the discouraged? Because words heal. There is a quote by Siddhartha Gotoma which holds true: "Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill."

Some say tomay-to… others say tomah-to

Some say soccer… others say football

Some say bang… others say make love

Some say bitch… others say lady

When one says hoe… another person may think of a gardening tool.

When one says gay… another person may think that he's happy.

When one says douchebag… another person may think of hygienic equipment.

When one says molest… another person may think about annoyance.

On that note… this is why I hesitate and/or take time when I use my words: because I want everything to be said perfectly. However, over the years, I've come to realize that there's no such thing as perfect. Regardless of whether or not my sentences are perfect, people are going to think the way they're going to think. What I attempt to do with my words is make people see things from my perspective… and that is all.

Furthermore, I think that having a voice and using it is one of the greatest gifts God has given us. Just as he gave us lungs to breathe, a brain to think, and a heart for our whole bodies to function, take advantage of your larynx (combined with your lungs, brain, and heart) and use your voice to its full potential. Don’t just say the ordinary: come up with your own way of saying things.

To give an example, there's a girl I'd like to think I know quite well… although I'm not sure yet. A lot of people think they know who she really is (including myself), but it wasn't until a few weeks ago when I found out how underappreciated she was as a person.

Some say she's weird… I say she's unique.

Some say she's smart… I say she's intelligent.

Some say she's funny… I say she's hilarious.

Some say she's cute… I say she's endearing.

Some say she's hot… I say she's beautiful.

Some say she's deep… I say she's profound.

Some say she's dreaming… I say she's coming to reality.

Use your words wisely, y'all.

"Don't forget to forgive, but don't forgive to forget." (Something I always say)