Creating a Ripple Effect with Stillness

Today, I was introduced to a new vocabulary word: equanimity.
It is derived from the Latin term "æquanimitas": having an even mind.

The man who ignited this conversation with myself is contemporary horror author Thomas Ligotti, who said the following:

There seems to be an inborn drive in all human beings not to live in a steady emotional state, which would suggest that such a state is not tolerable to most people. Why else would someone succumb to the attractions of romantic love more than once? Didn't they learn their lesson the first time or the tenth time or the twentieth time? And it's the same old lesson: everything in this life - I repeat, everything - is more trouble than what it's worth. And simply being alive is the basic trouble. This is something that is more recognized in Eastern societies than in the West. There's a minor tradition in Greek philosophy that instructs us to seek a state of equanimity rather than one of ecstasy, but it never really caught on for obvious reasons. Buddhism advises its practitioners not to seek highs or lows but to follow a middle path to personal salvation from the painful cravings of the average sensual life, which is why it was pretty much reviled by the masses and mutated into forms more suited to human drives and desires. It seems evident that very few people can simply sit still. Children spin in circles until they collapse with dizziness.

Being in a psychological state of complete stability is something many people strive for.

We lose our stillness when raindrops fall and obnoxiously invade our pools of consciousness, and it creates a ripple effect when we expose those issues to others.

As a result, we experiment with different methods to re-create a different environment for ourselves.


We never actually wait for the ripples to fade. As a matter of fact, we do the exact opposite.

Instead, we "take action": driving our fists into the water with emotion, allowing people to jump in... etc.

All this splashing does is prevent you from going deeper and probably disallows you from seeing things at the surface level.

This is not to say that your thoughts, your feelings, and your companions don't matter; they most certainly do. However, you cannot see your reflection in water unless it is still.

Find stillness of mind... or stillness of heart; whichever you prefer to start with first.

Placation from the Machine

They did it.
They pulled the trigger and shot me.
Right in the back.
They did it from behind, but I didn't notice
That although I was left agonized
I could still analyze.

But I still needed courage.
If only I had a healthy backbone...

They did it again.
They pulled the trigger and shot me.
Right in the head.
They did it right in front of me, and I didn't notice.
I'm now left tranquilized.

Although I could still emote
I still couldn't comprehend how or why.
If only I had a healthy mind...

They did it again.
They pulled the trigger and shot me.
Right in the chest.
They did it from a distance, but I didn't notice...
And now I am left
Unable to empathize.

I am now dead.

Appetite + Metabolism

Starving for something to come fast
As I quickly lose my appetite for what I once craved.

What is it that I fast for
While attempting to detoxify my body
From sunrise to sunset?

Do you believe in being satisfied
With something before tasting its fruition?
The mind is constantly in a state of vegetation
As it continues to be fed a different process than what it can digest.

Eyes being fed lies... which leaves one hypnotized.
Ears being fed jeers... which leaves one in tears.

The mind leaves things undefined
Leaving unrefined thoughts to unwind.

Signed and delivered to the organs of metabolism
To break it down.
Break it ALL down
Until you can make something out of it.

Awards (The Ink of a Scholar)

Since when does a sheet of paper determine whether it's a 'skill'? Maybe when it's written with the right ink...

It's one thing to be certified or acknowledged that you've accomplished something by someone else. However, that means nothing if you can't put your own signature on it.

(They say) If you write on an award, it ruins its value, because it's no longer authentic.
(I say) You cannot be authentic without putting your own stamp on things... whether it's given by an institutional authority or you're brushing ink that curves and eventually dries on your own canvas.

Your award is the ink derived from your own scholarship. Make your experiences come alive rather than be told what's worthy of celebrating.

Celebrate your penmanship... because the ink of a survived thought is worth a thousand times more than a neglected one.

*Originally written in pen

Dis is Me (and You)

Dis is me... and dis is you:

Dedicated to the privileged and how you treat the oppressed

You're dissin' us with your innocence
Your dismissive dissonance
Your disrespectful display of dis is unnecessary
We've disappeared into great dispair

The dispear of disparity is no parody
It's a pair of D-I-S's that, together, create messes instead of clarity
It's now a rarity to see
The prosperity of the sincerity of you and me

We won't be missed, but we will be dissed
When you blow life a pair of kisses:
One hits us, and one misses; you will miss us
As soon as you find out what kind of Hell dis is

Ignorance is bliss. And knowledge is power
Scramble the statements and you get patience for greatness... at the eleventh hour

The Riff Banger

January 17, 2014
2:38 AM

The Riff Banger

They say love is "evol" and hard to define
Maybe by their definition, but not by mine
They got it backwards, they misunderstood
How can love be hate? How can evil be good?

I question the energy made that "sparks" love;
I thought energy couldn't be created.
So doesn't that mean that it was there all along?
Why do we search for it in poems, bars, and songs?
Love has always been elongated, yet abbreviated
And mediated by the people who seem to hate it

But they still rate it, and compare it in retrospect.
Give it and get respect.
And you'll sense it...
And progress in the world of knowledge; hence it
Doesn't have to do with others.
You got love in the womb of your mother;
There's your first lover.

I can tell when someone knows what love is.
It's a movement... not a blueprint.
Travel to find love?
I say unravel your mind of
All the standards, the slander, the cliffhangers
And focus on the center of your own riff banger.

References:
Amiri Baraka: "In Memory of Radio"
Common: "Love Is"

Replacement Issues

(Date of writing this poem: July 13-14, 2011

This is meant to be read in two different ways...)

We have to talk: it's over.

I feel bad about it.

We can get through this.

I hope we can stay friends.

Awkward silence.

Outward defiance.

Shedding on my bedding.

With power, pleasure, and pain.

Who's my next target?

Too many to choose from.

I get plenty of sleep.

Something was missing.

On to the next one.

I was a heartbreaker.

I'm afraid of commitment… 

Instead of asking why…

Bitches be bitches.

And pussy be pussy.

We broke up.

I'm all choked up.

I gotta stay strong.

But what did I do wrong?

Emotional violence.

Former alliance.

Blowing my nose.

A kiss from a rose

Who will I love now?

Move on, how?

My eyes never shut.

I never knew what.

I should have spoken.

Now I'm heartbroken.

Afraid of loving again.

The question is when.

Pricks be pricks.

And dick be dick.

----------------------

We have to talk: It's over. We broke up.

I feel bad about it. I'm all choked up.

We can get through this. I gotta stay strong.

I hope we can stay friends. But what did I do wrong?

Awkward silence. Emotional violence.

Outward defiance. Former alliance.

Shedding on my bedding. Blowing my nose

With power, pleasure, and pain. A kiss from a rose

Bitches be bitches. Pricks be pricks.

But pussy be pussy. And dick be dick.

Who's my next target? Who will I love now?

Too many to choose from. Move on, how?

I get plenty of sleep. My eyes never shut.

Something was missing, I never knew what.

On to the next one. I should have spoken.

I was a heartbreaker. Now I'm heartbroken.

I'm afraid of commitment… afraid of loving again.

Instead of asking why… the question is when.

Bitches be bitches. Pricks be pricks.

Pussy be pussy. And dick be dick.

Live life as you may, live with no regrets

Just remember: It's hard to forgive, impossible to forget

No one can replace you. NO ONE can replace you.